Being a stay at home mom no friends can be quite depressing, but with the right mindset and attitude, you can survive.
It’s normal for stay at home moms to feel lonely and socially isolated especially after giving birth to their firstborn. It’s that season when most mothers find it hard to make mom friends. Unfortunately, having no friends around, or that feeling of having no friends usually leads to either boredom or depression. It makes mommies feel like days are longer, and nights shorter.
According to the Office on Women’s Health of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, one in every nine new mothers go through postpartum depression, which they define as “the time after childbirth when most women get the ‘baby blues,’ or feel sad or empty, within a few days of giving birth”. Although in some cases, postpartum depression happens even weeks and months after giving birth.
One of the best ways to counter postpartum depression is to be surrounded by the right group of people. While the family is one of the most ideal people to be around with, we cannot deny the fact that there are things better shared with mom friends.
Having mom friends create a different impact especially that in one way or another they too have gone through such process. It’s having someone to share your frustrations and hopes with. It is having a friend who you can pour your heart out with and be understood because she knows exactly what you are going through.
But what happens when you are a stay at home mom with no friends?
One thing, we are all different. We handle things differently. Some stronger women, even without having friends are okay with it. However, other women who are not strong enough to handle the changes, and all that goes around motherhood. Some stay at home mom feeling depressed.
While you can feel bad or be depressed all you want, you can also do something to change things around – and it all starts in you. At the end of the day, proper mindset and having the right attitude things will definitely go a long way.
WHAT EVERY STAY AT HOME MOM WITH NO FRIENDS SHOULD KNOW?
While the world can sometimes make you feel bad, you can choose to counter it. It’s not easy, for sure, but it’s worth trying.
Having said that, here are a few things – essential things – that we thought every stay at home mom no friends need to know or at least be reminded of:
– You are Beautiful
A lot of first time stay home moms feel ugly especially a few days after giving birth, which is quite normal for mommas to feel with so many things going around. Having a new baby makes us forget about ourselves, and before we know it, we suddenly get the chance to check out ourselves in the mirror – and we feel like we do not know that person in front of us anymore.
To be honest, that is quite depressing.
Some women would just break down and cry. Some feel like that person is a totally different person – she’s someone they do not know. At some point, some new moms would hate the new person they see and feel really bad about it. They feel ugly that they would want their old selves back.
While you can feel bad all day long, you can also choose to get up and be positive. You can opt to instead of hating yourself for who you are now, you applaud of how brave you are and how beautiful you are. Yes, your body may look different from how it was pre-pregnancy or your eye bags may look like it’s swollen and dark, but still, all those imperfections, at this point in time, make you look perfect.
You are beautiful no matter what. The world may have its definition of beautiful, but you don’t need the world to define you. Your little one, your husband, your family – they see you not just as a beautiful woman with a beautiful face or “mommy body,” but that you are beautiful. Period. How they see you should be enough to help you regain your confidence and strength.
Know that you are not the only person going through this. Lots of mommas out there are feeling the same, too.
You know, believe it or not, you are and will always be beautiful.
Perhaps you are thinking, “If I am beautiful, then where are my friends?”
Stop! Before you go thinking any further, stop.
Here’s the thing, true friends remain regardless of your status in life. Now, if your friends may seem distant already since you became a mom, then maybe they are not really friends at all, right?
Remember, never let other people – in this case, your so-called friends – define you. Never ever allow them to ruin how you see yourself just because they started being distant from you.
Regardless of your body type, your stretch marks, your fats, and all your other physical imperfections, please know that you are forever beautiful. In fact, your stretch marks, your eye bags, and all your imperfections add up to your beauty because those are reminders that you have conquered being a mom. That you are a mom.
– You are Brave
Being strong does not only pertain to your body’s capability of bearing a child and giving birth. It also pertains to how brave you are for choosing the path of being a stay at home mom.
Not all women can sacrifices as you did. You know what? You are brave for choosing to be a mom first. You are brave for letting go of your job, of your career, of whatever it was you were doing before to be a stay at home mom for your child.
There is a quote I read somewhere that says something like this, “Work will always be there, but your child will not be this little forever.” This quote is very affirming, and hopefully, it is affirming for you, too.
Honestly, we cannot agree more with that. Our babies will not be babies forever. In fact, when you are a stay at home mom, you will realize how fast the time clicks. It feels like it was only yesterday when you gave birth to your lovely child, and now, your baby is learning how to walk, to talk, and all these life skills.
Work is everywhere. Anytime you want it, you can always grab one. Of course, it feels bad when you have worked long enough in a company, and then suddenly there is a need for you to leave to take care of a baby. But hey, we are not talking about someone else’s baby, but, your baby.
Work will always be there like friends will always be there – if what you have is real and true.
I tell you, if you are a new stay at home mom, you are one brave girl!
Just to add, know that being a stay at home mom is a blessing more than a decision you made. There are a lot of women out there who would want to be in your place but circumstances wouldn’t let them.
Being a stay at home mom is a blessing because it is when you get to know who your real friends are. Because seriously, a real and true friend will understand why you are an absentee friend right now.
We salute you for being brave enough to choose motherhood over anything else. As social media influencer Mayim Bialik puts it, being able to have the capacity to be a stay at home mom is a privilege. Know more about how she was able to do so, and why she loved it so much and not regretting it through this video:
– You are Destined to Be a Stay at Home Mom
Let’s be honest here. There so many women out there who have been wanting, hoping, wishing, and praying fervently to be blessed with a child and be a mom. And you, here you are, you are a mom.
My friend, you are a mom not because you chose to be one, but because you were destined to be one.
Not all women are privileged to be a mom, but you are. You feel better? Well, you should!
But here’s one more thing we want to tell you, you are also destined to be a stay at home mom. Yes, it was a decision you made, but if you come to think about it, it’s something that the universe has already orchestrated for you.
You know, there are working moms who are dying to be a stay at home mom, but they couldn’t. Why? Because of life circumstances. Probably, their husbands’ earnings are not enough to make a living. Another is, they are single moms and no one else will provide for them and their children if they will not work. See? Not all women are destined to be moms, and not all moms are destined to stay at home moms.
Does it make you feel better?
But, some women are left with no choice too, but be a stay at home moms even if they didn’t want to.
Some women did not plan to become a stay at home moms at all. Come to think of it — They all love our workplaces, don’t we? They love our workmates. They love everything about our previous jobs. They never thought that one day they have to leave because we need to.
It’s really life-changing especially if you have been working for so long. Then, suddenly you are faced with your new reality. If before you are used to starting your day chatting with your office friends, now, you start the day with just you and your baby. No one to talk to. No one to share your thoughts, your ideas, all you are doing is take care of this very demanding tiny human being.
Although it’s not bad at all, the reality is, it can be so depressing and so lonely especially if you are not used to it.
But hey, cheer up! Think about all the moms who wished they were in your place. Think about your friend who wished she could also lever her job and be like you. Like we said earlier, while you are feeling bad about your new reality, there are so many other moms out there hoping and wishing to be exactly where you are at.
You know what, being a stay at home mom no friends does not matter if you focus on the good side. If you focus on what you have and be grateful for it. Because honestly, being a stay at home mom no friends does not really matter – at all.
– You are Blessed
Blessed is actually an understatement because, to be honest, being a mom and a stay at home mom for that matter is really a huge blessing – more than being blessed.
Perhaps you’ll say – I know I am blessed, and I should be grateful for that, but it’s really depressing being home alone, having no friends around to talk to.
We get you, mom! We really do.
We understand what you are going through because for once some of us have gone through the same rough road of being a stay at home mom no friends. It can be a little depressing but know that as long as you keep your thoughts positive, you will get through it eventually.
We understand that some of us love being surrounded by people especially with friends – sharing stories and banters with them, laughing out loud, as well as traveling with them, having coffee or sharing lunch with them. It is hard, for sure, but you will get through.
You know what, through it all, one thing we can assure you. These are all temporary. One day, your baby will get old, and when he is older, you can finally have all the time with making friends or rekindling friendships – and then, you will miss your life as a stay at home mom with just you and your kid.
It’s just a cycle. So, while you are at it, instead of feeling bad and feeling blue, look at your blessings. Be grateful for them. Remember, you will not be in this situation forever. It will pass too. Instead of being depressed, enjoy it. Savor it until it lasts.
You are blessed, mommy. You are and will always be blessed for being where you are now.
Yes, being a stay at home mom no friends is not a curse, but a blessing. It’s a time for you to just fully give everything to your child. Anyway, once your child has grown, you can always go back to seeing our friends and having coffee with them again.
For now, take your time being a stay at home mom. Take this moment when you have no friends around to build new friendships in the person of your son and your husband. It’s actually a great time to build a long-lasting friendship between you, your child, and your husband. Feeling blessed? Because you are!
– You are Not Alone
The last thing we want to tell you and you should be reminded of is that, you are not alone.
You are not alone in this journey. There are a lot of mommies all over the world who have gone through, are going through, or about to go through this phase that you are in.
Never ever think that it’s just you. That the world is against you or that you have been cursed because of being a stay at home mom no friends.
Being a stay at home mom, and not having friends around is not a curse or anything like that. It’s just a phase in your mommy’s life that you need to go through. While being a stay at home mom could be forever, but the exact phase in your stay at home mom’s life where you are in at the moment, you won’t be there forever.
One day, you will graduate from that phase, and when that happens, you got to tap yourself for a job well done. Also, when that time comes, you can spend time as much as you want with your lady friends.
But if it really depresses you being alone at home, well, thanks to technology, there’s a way to catch up even when you and your friends are a part, or if you really have no friends, why not consider making virtual friends. Join mommy groups online.
Mommy groups are actually one way that will help you get through such a stage. A lot of moms will be there to comfort you and remind you that you do not have to go through this alone because you have your family, your baby, and your virtual community.
The purpose of these mommy groups is to help each other out. To help uplift each other especially during times like this.
Also, you can read articles from women’s publications or websites like this one. It helps, right? It makes you feel better, right? Well, that is precisely what we are here for.
Oh, and when your baby is older, you can also opt to try out being a stay at home working mom. Yes, working while taking care of your baby. Sounds impossible, well, it is possible. In fact, there is a lot of stay at home moms who are in the very same situation right now.
Working from home will help keep you busy with something else. Needless to say, it will make you feel independent and empowered.
Anyway, going back to what we were saying. Please do take inspiration from mommies like us who made it through those depressing times. If we made it, you sure will make it too.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON STAY AT HOME MOM NO FRIENDS
To sum it all up, being a stay at home mom no friends is not bad at all and it will not be this way forever. It will pass eventually, and guess what? When it’s done, when this phase is over, you will be surprised at what you actually managed to pull it through.